People who have near death experiences all talk about a peaceful, euphoric , bright light enveloping them. From the moment we are conceived, we are moving towards that light. This is my heels diggin' in, I don't wanna' go, reluctant journey, into the light. Stephen

Monday, February 15, 2010

Nekkid Emperors / Gone Missing


Albert Arnold Gore Jr.    alias Algore.
If you have any  information regarding Mr. Gore's whereabouts, please contact the IPCC immediately and ask for Mr.Rajendra Pachauri.

Missing subject is a male, in his late fifties.  He was last seen sprinting towards a Gulfstream 400 in Copenhagen. Clutching a golden Oscar statuette in one hand, and a Nobel peace price in the other, he was being chased by a horde of protesters wielding snow shovels.  No flight plan was filed for the Gulfstream, and Algore hasn't been seen since.

Recent pic, Al thanking Michael Mann

Mr. Gore plowing a steep hillside alongside the tenant of a dilapidated mobile home owned by the Gore family.

Possible whereabouts:

*  Suite 809 at the Fairfax Hotel, on embassy row in Washington D.C.  Or possibly in the lobby where Mr Gore was frequently seen pretending to be clearing trees with a double bladed axe.

*  Hollywood Galas or Budhist Temples.  He will be the one wearing kneepads dragging a bag of money.

*  Possibly huddled in a snow cave with a few true believers. Awaiting the spring thaw. The snow cave will have several Priuses and one Gulfstream 400 buried in the drifts outside.

Known associates:

*  Dr. Phil Jones from the University of East Anglia. aka "da Science Settler." Extensive past collaborations on bilking gullible governments and tax payers for big grant money.

             UPDATE: Within minutes of Dr. Jones admission that he was a disorganized bullshitter, someone sounding alot like Mr. Gore left a message on his answering machine. The caller said, "Phil, Phil, never tell the truth, there's no money in it."  The rest of the message was incoherent muttering about Patchouli oil and solar panels. The call has been traced to a Rainbow Family gathering in New Mexico.

*  Michael Moore, leftist Hollywood filmaker.  Gave Mr. Gore tips on how to manipulate the truth and become a leftist diety through the art of making propaganda style documentaries.  Rumored to have been seen together in a Cuban hospital.

*  Bill Clinton, ex-president.  Recently tutored Algore on the proper usage of the word "is."  Examples:  Weather IS not climate change.  Global warming IS causing the snow storms.  Al, your ass IS cooked.

Mr. Gore's family, friends, and blind faith AGW zealots miss him terribly.  Greens the world over are distraught,  and turning red .  Some say it's embarrassement, others say it's anger at their exalted leader abandoning them in their time of need.  And if you see him, tell him his cap and trade betting venture capital partners want their money back.

Please come home Al,  We all miss you.

 UPDATE:  Breaking News.   An Amish Farmer / Blacksmith in Ohio was approached just hours ago by a disheveled man he described as, "looked just like that fat guy who tongued Tipper Gore on the stage at the Democratic National Convention."  The stranger appeared disoriented and repeatedly asked about buying a mule drawn snowplow.  Police are investigating.

pics by others


Marla said...

Did you know that there is currently snow on the ground in every state except for Hawaii? Crazy right. :)

Shannon said...

Awesome...absolutely awesome!!

Jane said...

Laughing so hard, I'm snorting!

Stephen said...

Snorting is good.

SCOTTtheBADGER said...

In that first picture, Al Gore looks like a woodchuck.